Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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