then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
