I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
