Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
