Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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