You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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