you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
