he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i think im in europe. pls send help
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
