he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
