Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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