we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
