The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
