Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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