"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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