idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm sobbing to NWA
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
