yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
