Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
