Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
