we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize