I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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