So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
