After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
