we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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