They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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