glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
