my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
