my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize