they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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