Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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