I can't watch pbs sober anymore
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
