love makes seman taste better
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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