He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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