I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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