Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
