No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
