It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
What changed your mind?
Being sober
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
