You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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