ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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