Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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