Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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