Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
