you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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