the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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