she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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