it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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