I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
