If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
