Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
so much tequila, so little girl.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I love you. Go after that dick
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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