I think my vagina is haunted
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize