just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
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