id be glad to
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
