Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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