I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
