I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
