VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
