We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't deserve a penis
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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