It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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