i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
