i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
