break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
