Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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