Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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