he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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