Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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