he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
