You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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