a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
